This evening I’ve been dealing with a lot of anger from feminists that results in counterproductive man-hate. I avoid preaching my views on how feminists (especially female feminists) should go about getting their views out there, but I will say this- men are not the enemy, patriarchy (at least…
This is so fucking offensive and sexist. Really? Your male identity is what allows you to speak more rationally than female feminists who have experienced gendered violence? Fuck you for upholding the oldest anti-woman cliche in the fucking book. First of all, it’s no one’s obligation to be “rational” when discussing something that effects them personally. Second, as a person who has never experienced female subjectivity, how DARE you attempt to argue that you’re more qualified to explain feminism than a woman who has actually experienced what you’re talking about? Nice try, but you’re not a feminist yet. This is gross.
That is not what Tristan said at all. He does not presume to be speaking more rationally than female feminists and he does not imply that he is “more qualified” than anyone. It takes balls to be a man and write what Tristan writes and I don’t think that “fucking offensive,” “sexist,” “fuck you,” and “this is gross” are productive responses- this language discourages men from expressing interest in feminism. Tristan has learned, is learning, and will learn more about patriarchy and abuse toward women (in its many forms) and it is not his fault that he was born male and happens to be curious and passionate about something he has “never experienced.” It’s cool if you don’t like his piece, but diverse opinions and viewpoints (including his “male identity”) are necessary toward productive conversation and real change.
I never really respond to these sorts of posts, but I really believe that everyone’s opinion is worth hearing and both expressions of those opinions AND responses to them should be thoughtfully articulated.